What he'd meant to say, what he'd failed to say, was I don't understand. And Steve's right, he doesn't have to, does he? Following orders doesn't mean understanding orders, it doesn't mean that he has to know exactly where they stand, or who Steve is, or who Bucky is. Absently he knows, his subconscious mind is catching up with his conscious one, little by little he's coming back to himself, and allowing himself to dismiss those questions that haunt his mind every single fucking moment? It's a welcome relief.

To let it all go and simply listen helps release some of the tightness from his chest.

He breathes. He lets himself be touched, though he can't meet Steve's eye as he does it. Lets himself breathe, a slow and steady inhale and exhale.

Sure enough, the shaking stops and his hands steady. He's still rigid, tense, broken, but he's calmer now with a little direction.